I woke up on Sunday morning super EARLY while the rest of my family slept a while longer. Our church service starts at 9:30 a.m., so there was plenty of time for me to jump on the computer for a while and work on some writing projects. I typed an hour away and then another before I jumped up to wake everyone up. It was too late for us to make it to our church, so I said we could go to a different church just south of us that starts at 10:30 a.m.
My husband was on board in spirit, but his flesh was tired. Another twenty minutes went by and my last hope to get to church would be yet another church's local service that starts at 11 a.m. I was determined to get there one way or another.
The boys had been up late the night before. My two teenagers were completely comatose and my three little guys were zonked. I told everyone that I would be leaving at twenty til eleven and all were welcome to join me. My sons, Joel and Adam (ages 12 and 10) said they didn't feel like going to church. I said, "Okay, you don't have to go. You can stay home and I want the laundry folded, the dishes put away, the table set for lunch and your rooms cleaned."
They decided to worship Jesus after all. Hmmmm. Ron and the other three were too pooped to "party" and normally, I would get really aggravated with that, but for whatever reason, I decided to trust that my marriage would stay together even if Ron skipped church one week and that my other three boys would stay out of prison despite their sleeping in on Sunday!
I got in the car with the other two "chore avoiding worshippers" and we headed to the church. I had been to this particular church a few times, but it was still somewhat unfamiliar to me. While driving, I called my husband back at home and asked him to go online to double check that I had the right time. I did.
This is a BIG church (5,000 plus people), and when we got there, the worship singing had just begun. I was greeted by an usher as he opened the door to let me in. I thought we were entering the back of the building, but these doors were on the side which meant we were entering into the second row. I NEVER sit in the front 25 rows of any church with my boys! UGH!
I filed into the row with Joel and Adam following me. We sang four or five songs and then the pastor came onto the stage to introduce a special guest speaker. It was Ryan Dobson, son of Dr. James Dobson. Ryan is an author and speaker who travels around to different churches teaching about Christ. About ten minutes into his presentation, Adam and Joel decided to fight over the church bulletin. Now what 10 and 12-year-old WANTS a bulletin? You couldn't give bulletins away on the school grounds to 10 and 12-year-olds.
Of course, the only reason either one of them wanted it was because the other one did too. They pulled on it until it ripped with a loud tearing sound. Embarrassed, and remembering why I NEVER sit in the first 25 rows of any church with my boys, I collected the two halves of the bulletin and shhhhed my boys.
When Ryan was finished, I thought I would go to the back table and buy his book. I hoped to get a chance to talk to him about writing and speaking since I'm looking for an agent for my book, UGH! The Joys of Raising Boys - Survival Stories from a Mother of Five Boys. I got in line and purchased a book and waited my turn to speak to Ryan and get him to sign the book. As I got closer, Joel and Adam continued to horse around. It didn't matter that I took the bulletin halves away, they found something else to squabble over. UGH!
So, I was very distracted and a bit intimidated. I wanted to ask Ryan if he might possibly be willing to read my book and give an endorsement. But, I didn't want to appear pretentious and the closer I got to the front of the line, the more anxious I became. I chickened out. Joel and Adam were driving me NUTS by this time and all I did was way "Hi, would you sign this?" and I handed him the copy of his book that I had just purchased.
It was pouring rain that day and I sent the boys out to the car ahead of me. I had a newly printed copy of my book in manuscript form sitting between the bucket seats of my mini-van with a note on it for my neighbor, Vivian. I was supposed to drop it off at her house after church.
One of the boys must have stepped on the book because there was a big muddy shoe print smack dab in the middle of it. UGH! "Who stepped on my book?" Once again, I got the usual "NOT ME." I hate that answer!
I decided that my fear of rejection was the reason that I chickened out in mentioning my book to Ryan. I decided to go back into the church with my muddy and wet manuscript tucked under my jacket (like it mattered at that point) and I got back into the line to see Ryan and this time, when I got up there, I said, "I'm so sorry Ryan, I was here before and I bought your book and I wanted to ask you a question, but chickened out because my boys were driving me nuts and we weren't supposed to be here anyway except that my entire family slept in TWICE this morning and this was my PLAN C option for worship and I didn't know that you were going to be here and I wrote a book about my boys and was wondering if you might possibly be willing to read it and endorse it because I would be so honored if you would. BREATH ALREADY!
He starred at me as I rambled on and nodded his head a bit. He was very approachable and during his talk, he mentioned about his little guy who is only 2 1/2 who likes to climb into the dryer and he also talked about his wife and how her mom passed away just before their son was born. His stories touched me because my mom passed away when my first two boys were babies and it was (and is) hard.
Ryan said that he can't give endorsements, but that he would be happy to read it. I was thrilled. "Okay," I said and I handed him a copy and told him that any feedback or advice he cared to give would be greatly appreciated.
Here's the moral of the story.....I almost let my fear of rejection get in the way of me asking for something. It's okay for me to get a "NO," but it's not okay for me not to ASK. As I move forward in the great big grown up world of writing and speaking, I need to just ASK and be okay with the answer.
What are you afraid to ASK for because you might get rejected? Do you realize that you stand rejected if you never ASK? JUST ASK!
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